Sunday, March 24, 2013

A Simple Hallelujah

"Hallelujah, all I have is Christ. 
Hallelujah, Jesus is my life." 

Those words are penned across the top of my notes from church this morning. 
And their significance today strikes a chord - they've been on repeat in my mind since we sang them during worship. The simple truth in them convicts me even now.

You may have noticed (or not) that I've been absent from here for almost 2 months. 
It was not intentional. 
It was not what I wanted. 
It was simply me wrestling with God over what He has called me to do. 

And because he's so good at it, the enemy saw my struggle and twisted my thoughts. He saw the opportunity to keep me from serving God, from sharing the love of Christ with you as I know I've been called to do. The enemy is the expert in this battle, he knows all too well my weakness for taking on too much, dividing my time in unhealthy ways, for allowing my circumstances and activities to overwhelm me to the point of exhaustion, for avoidance when it's not comfortable.
I've had much to say, so much that God's directed me to share with you here, but deep down, I'm just a big chicken. And a big chicken who uses time constraints as a mask.

Forgetting that whatever His truth is, whatever His message is; well, He doesn't need me to make it heard. 

But I need to be obedient to the one who has called me to it. 
Bottom line. End of story.

So today, Palm Sunday, God got my attention. Our Pastor brought a message that started in John 12. Verses 20-21 specifically. 

"Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus." "

And I wrote that down - "I want to see Jesus."

So, as Pastor Brandon spoke to us, that stayed with me. "I want to see Jesus." 
The crux of his sermon really focused on verses 23 - 26: 
"Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

And for those who don't understand the significance of what I highlighted - no, it doesn't mean that we have to truly hate our life to love Jesus. 

But we have to love Jesus more than we love anything else. 
Every hour of every day. 
No matter what. 
Even when it's hard. 
Even when I'm tired. 
Even when I'm afraid to write what I know I need to write here.  

Because God will honor the one who serves His Son, Jesus Christ. 
The world will not. But if I love Jesus more than anything else, that won't matter. 

And it's a process. Gradual. Daily. Hourly.  

As I listened to our Pastor, I wrote. Straight from my rebellious, disobedient heart. The words coming out of me faster than my pen could write them down. 

"So, do I really want to see Jesus?
REALLY see Him?
Then what am I doing chasing after things that don't further His kingdom? 
I don't need more time - I need more time with Him. 
In His presence. 
Speaking life and truth into me."  

Because beloved, in the end, the reality is this - 

"Hallelujah, all I have is Christ.
Hallelujah, Jesus IS my life."  

With a COURAGEOUS Heart,