Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Why I March


On Friday, I'm planning to go into Washington, DC for the March for Life 2019.

I'm marching because I regret my abortions.

The first when I was just 17 years old, alone, afraid and ashamed.
The second when I was 22 years old, selfish, prideful and stubborn.

My story is an ugly, complicated mess.

I'm not proud of who I was, where I've been, or what I did.
But I'm here today ONLY because of the absolute undeserved and unmerited grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.
He alone turned my mess into a masterpiece of redemption.

Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

I regret my abortions, but I don't regret the road that Jesus allowed me to travel afterwards.
A road that led me to his grace and love.
Because of Jesus, I am made new.
Because he's forgiven me, he no longer sees who I was and what I did - he only sees me through eyes of love.

Some of you may wonder why I am so open about the truly horrific choices I made all those years ago.
The answer is simple: It freed me.

For years I'd walked around in fear - fear that someone, anyone would discover my secrets.
And that when they did, I knew I'd be rejected.

I was such a good, fake Christian.
I was at church 3 times a week.
I sang in the choir.
I even worked in the church office.
But one night, the truth caught up to me when God whispered in my ear - 'Stop running. Stop hiding. Come to me. All will be well, just give it all to me.'
It was a voice I couldn't ignore any longer and when I asked him to forgive me and change me and free me -
he did.
In an instant.

I was breathing in the clean, fresh air of grace for the first time ever, and I knew I was different.
Changed.
Forgiven.
Free.

When you've been so radically forgiven by the God of the universe, you can't help but tell others about it.
And through the years of sharing my story, I've discovered something -
there are so many more of you out there - Just. Like. Me.

You've come to me with whispered thank you's, saying 'Me too.'
You've asked me to pray for you - for courage to come out into the light of freedom.
You've sent me cards and letters, sharing your story, baring your soul to me - because you know that I'll never reject you or condemn you.
We are kindred, you and I.

And I'm here to tell you that you, sweet sister, are not alone in your fear and shame.
You are not alone in your story, in your past or your present.
The enemy wants you to believe you're alone because he knows that when you come into the light of forgiveness and truth - you are freed from his lies that isolate you and hold you captive.

Romans 8:1 says this, "So now there is NO CONDEMNATION for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has FREED you from the power of sin that leads to death."

Trusting Jesus can break every chain that holds you down and can allow you to live in freedom from your past. Sweet friend, I regret my abortions and there will always be a hurt place in my heart for those innocent lives I so callously disregarded. But the enemy cannot use those choices as a weapon against me anymore because of Jesus. Jesus has taken my broken mess of a life and is using my story to help others just like me - just like you - to find freedom and forgiveness at his feet.

Romans 8:28 says this, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose."

God has an amazing purpose and plan for you - believe it.
I never thought he could use someone like me - the worst of the worst. A nothing. A cold-hearted, selfish nobody. If Jesus could change me, could give me a life of light and freedom and forgiveness, then he most assuredly can change you too and give you the same and more.

Romans 5:1-2 says this, "Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of UNDESERVED PRIVILEGE where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory."

We can never deserve the privilege of Jesus' love for us, but we have it if we want it.
I'll be praying for you.
For courage, for peace, for freedom.

And I'll be marching on Friday for those who cannot.

Monday, July 30, 2018

A Social Life


“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid” - John 14:27



I sat hunched over in the chair, elbows on my knees, iPhone in my hands. 
There was a tightness in my chest and a slight sick feeling in my stomach. 
As my right thumb hovered over the Facebook icon, I was at the same time anticipating and dreading opening the app. 
Not because I was fearful of what I would see or read or hear, but rather, I was fearful of opening Pandora’s Box once again. 

For two weeks, I had completely stepped away from social media. 
I was taking a long needed vacation with my family to my happiest place, the Coast of Maine, and I decided I wanted to totally disconnect from all the noise in my everyday world, so much of which comes from my social media accounts. 
While I was away, I had decided to check out, take a break, step away, shut down for maintenance, tune out….all of the above. 

Most importantly, I was giving my heart and soul and mind a rest.

I’ve been so tired, weary actually, and I was welcoming peace back into my overwhelmed days. Not only had my daily life been unusually full of activity, my online life had seemed to suck up my ‘free’ minutes more and more as I escaped into the lives of other people. 
Those minutes quickly became crowded with news and videos and stories and updates and photos and LIFE! 
All of which was being shared in seemingly rapid-fire succession by friends and strangers alike. 
Most times I would click into the app and immediately get sucked into the scroll. Like some perverted machine gun of information, my Facebook feed would shoot out all the life happenings of everyone I’m ‘friends’ with on that little screen. And the physical world around me became dimmer as I grew oblivious to the flesh and blood people near me and instead, entranced with the happenings of people that I couldn’t touch or see or hear. 
And it just felt wrong. 

My self-imposed hiatus from social media was surprisingly, completely freeing. I’d been nervous about how I would handle being off the grid for such a long time and happily, it enabled me to right the ship so to speak. 
While on vacation, I didn’t miss my accounts one iota. Instead, I was able to be fully present with my family; fully present in the moments both shared and solitary. I felt no pull towards the scroll, no ‘need’ to share the minutiae of my day for perhaps the first time in years. 
I had given myself permission to become private again. Simply enjoying my hours free of the need for shares and likes and comments. I loved it, and that shocked me. 
And it bothers me that I’m so shocked by the peace I found.

Some of my Facebook ‘friends’ are truly that, people I have a deep and abiding friendship and connection with, and I LOVE keeping up with their lives. 
Some ‘friends’ are family members who live far away, but we can stay connected easily with a touch of that blue icon. 
I’m grateful for that on so many levels.
But in all honesty, most of my ‘friends’ I only know through social media because of our shared interests. And usually it’s only one interest. 
It’s these one-dimensional connections that I struggle with the most. 

I’m asking myself “Has my world grown too large?” 
By having so many ‘friends’ have I given too much permission for others to have a piece of my life? 
There’s so much pressure to perform when you’re active on social media. 
Pressure to post, to like, to comment, to share. 
Pressure to live up to others expectations of you, pressure to participate, to join, to contribute. 

But what if I can’t or perhaps, simply don’t want to participate all the time?

I feel as if it’s almost a social affront to not be active on social media to some degree. If you don’t see a certain post you’re suddenly out of the loop and others are surprised. If you miss a birthday or an illness or a surgery or a passing of a loved one, it’s a social offense. I’ve heard “Well, I posted it on Facebook….” so many times. 
And yes, I’ve felt guilty for missing what was clearly important to that person.

We can claim to be victims of an algorithm but the reality is we’ve created and unknowingly bought into this false expectation that if we’re ‘friends’ on social media then we must certainly be aware of all that’s being posted. 
This is tough place. 
And the truth is, we don’t want to feel guilty any more than we want to feel imposed upon. But it’s a feeling based on the same principle as returning a text, an email or a phone message. 
It’s an expectation of a response when you didn’t even invite the contact. And simply being on social media or accepting a friend request shouldn’t mean your door is always open to the world at large.

My world used to be small enough to keep up with my friends. 
To really be a friend to my friends. 
I had time and energy and desire to participate in their lives and it brought me joy. 
Relationships are how we survive as humans - God created us for relationship with each other. And while it’s true that social media allows us a greater and more simplified ability to connect with each other, it’s also allowed us to become what we aren’t meant to be - exhausted. 
Because I love my friends and love being in relationship with them, I feel this emotional pressure keenly, but the truth is that no one can be all things to all people. That’s the job of our Creator and even though we are to work to be like Him, we cannot and will never be Him. 

The week I stayed off social media turned into two and the peace I felt from that decision only grew stronger each day. I was more mentally and emotionally rested than I had been in ages and I had more meaningful conversations with people I value. I wasn’t tempted to constantly check my phone for notifications because I hadn’t posted anything. 
And because I wasn’t checking my phone, I was fully involved in each moment. 
That little box in my hand wasn’t controlling me, I was controlling it. 
And it felt good. Very, very good. 

You may wonder, so what now? 
Well, I’m wondering the same. 
To be honest, I’m not sure where I go from here, but I do know that I’m not letting go of my newfound peace easily. I like being in control of how I spend my online minutes and I also recognize that I’m not willing to give up what’s good about being on social media. 

I’m going to start with giving myself permission to not always respond to the posts of others. 
That’s not an indication of a lack of caring for others, it’s an indication that I respect myself and my time and I don’t tacitly accept the expectations of others. 

Secondly, I’m going to try and stop concerning myself with the likes and comments and shares my posts receive. If I’m truly posting because I want to, because I see value in it or want to share a moment then it simply should be that. 
Because I want to. 
And if others see value in it and want to like, comment or share, then that’s a lovely thing. 
I don’t believe social media should be a popularity contest - it’s turned into one for many, but I don’t want to be caught in that comparison trap any longer. It’s exhausting and brings with it a whole host of other problems. I’m saying ‘no more’ and I encourage you to do the same. 
Our worth and value comes from our identity in Christ Jesus and it will never be found in the approval of others. Especially in the form of thumbs up or little hearts. 

So, giving myself permission to not always respond means that I have to remove my expectation that others will always respond to me. 
Respond to my posts because it touches you or makes you feel happy or thoughtful or if it brings you joy - but I’ll no longer assume it doesn’t because you don’t. 
A response shouldn’t be a duty, but because you genuinely want to. And I know you know the difference. 

Of course, this is only a small start. A drop in the proverbial bucket. 
But perhaps changing our expectations of each other will go a long way towards bringing some peace and control into our online lives. 

Perhaps not, but it’s so worth trying. 
If you’re like me, you want real; you need real. 
In person, face to face; a phone call, voice to voice; a handwritten word in the mailbox can touch the heart in a way that communicating over social media cannot. 

I challenge you to step away too for a set time - on your terms, certainly, but give enough separation that you can feel the distance and find the peace that comes with it. 
If you do, message me, let me know and I’ll pray for you during your hiatus.

Are you up for it? 
If you’re my friend, I know you are.



Thursday, June 21, 2018

We Start With Love


I am so tired today.
No, not tired actually.
I’m bone-deep, dog-tired weary.
My head hurts and my heart hurts and I just want to scream - “STOP IT!”


Like so many of you, everywhere I turn on tv, print media or social media these past
few days, I’ve been bombarded with the immigration story.
It dominates everyone’s news feed and virtually no one lacks an opinion.
And I’ve been taken aback by how hateful and judgmental and
disrespectful people have been to each other because they don’t agree.
I’m not sure, but I feel like this is worse than it was during the election cycle of 2016.


Over the past few days as the vitriol gets louder and is spewed higher and farther,
I’ve read so many barbed comments and un-loving words shared in the interest of
“educating” or “providing insight”.
And I’m not talking about celebrities or the pundits and talking heads.
I could care less what they think most days - their words don’t have the power to
affect my life in the slightest.
It’s the Pastors and leaders in the faith that I look up to, the people I call friends,
the people whose opinion I value - most of them fellow Christians - that have surprised
and dismayed me most.


I’ve read that you can’t be a “Christian” if you hate “what’s happening” yet still want to
see the law upheld.
I’ve read that the Bible is being misused, misconstrued and misrepresented by Christians who
simply don’t understand it.
I’ve read that you can’t be a “Christian” if you identify with a political party (either side).
I’ve read that if you support the government you are like a nazi.


Can we just stop?


What part of “they’ll know we are Christians by our love” don’t we understand?
What happened to “Love God, love people”?
Or do we now only love ‘those’ people? (whoever that might be but it’s definitely
not your fellow Christian you’re ‘calling out’)


You know, I get it.
I really do.
You’re upset and disturbed and heart-broken by the seemingly endless news-cycles
piling on and on and on - story after story, photo after gut-wrenching photo.
We’re all upset by it. To not be upset by it would indicate that we don’t have a heart.
That’s another accusation Christians have been slinging around lately.
Really?
Shouldn’t we be better than this?

We Christians should be the last ones to ‘assume’ anything about each other.
The one thing we all have in common (Christian and non-Christian alike) is sin.
The one thing all Christians have in common is Jesus.
We will never all agree on anything except that.
Jesus, and our faith in him, is The ONE thing that should unify us.
And he is THE most important thing.
So, isn’t it time that we put aside our ugly words and hateful, condescending hearts and
judgmental thoughts and remember to first LOVE each other?
All of this shade we’re throwing at each other is exactly what the enemy wants us to
be doing and he’s pretty darn happy with his work right now.
That’s nothing for us to be proud of - in fact, we need to be running from it as far and as
fast as we can.


I personally don’t care what your opinion is of this issue;
what your opinion of me and my opinion is;
or what you know or don’t know about what’s going on.
What I do care passionately about is Christians showing love and grace to other Christians
- even when we disagree.
Because if the Church, who is dearly loved and called to purpose by Jesus,
can’t love each other and show that to the world,
how are we ever to expect the world to be changed and saved by him?


Let’s not let the enemy win this one Christians.

He doesn’t define us, but our love for each other most certainly does.



Tuesday, October 17, 2017

#metoo - What I'm Thinking



It’s on every social media site these past few days. 
6 keyboard characters that have created a public firestorm out of our private hells. 
And in case you’re wondering, yes, 

#metoo

As I scroll through my account feeds, time and again I see these words posted by friend after friend after friend. 
I want to reach through the screen and hug them tight. 
I want to tell them that what happened to them before doesn’t have to define them now. 
I want to tell them that they are loved and valued and cherished and they are absolutely NOT what someone in their past tried to make them into. 

And for every #metoo I see, I wonder how many more are out there, unseen. 
Their pain and their shame and their fear holding them hostage to a past they don’t know how to escape no matter how much they try. My heart breaks for them. 

I have a lot of thoughts about all of this painful pot-stirring. 
A lot of random thoughts, but the one that’s most insistent in my mind is this:

I may be #metoo but I am not a victim. 
I am a victor. 

The uninvited touching and harassments I experienced as early as elementary school are things that happened TO me. 
Those events caused me fear and shattered my trust in some people and institutions that I’d been taught to respect. 
Those events, in some ways, changed how I viewed the world around me and the men in my life as I grew into adulthood. 
But those men aren’t every man and they don’t represent the men in my life who have loved me and cherished me and valued me. 
Just as those events that happened TO me, in no way, shape or form define me. 

I am not a victim and those events don’t define me because I’ve made a choice. 
A few choices actually. 
Choices that wouldn’t be possible in my strength alone. 

I’ve chosen to look forward instead of behind me. 
My life is in front of me. 
Living in shame and fear and pain only hurts me - and those I love. It has no effect on the ones who caused me pain. 
Their power over me was in the pain they inflicted and I have chosen to not allow them that power by letting them take up space in my head. 
I’d much rather fill that space with joy and grace and peace. 
Characteristics my abusers will likely never understand.

I’ve chosen to use what happened to me to educate my daughter.
To teach her that she is loved and cherished and valued, no matter what. 
I’m not naive by any means, I know that she has been and will be objectified, demeaned and yes, she may yet be abused - God forbid. 
But by teaching her and showing her how to embrace the truth of who she is, and how deeply she is loved, it lessens any power that someone’s evil intentions or actions might have on her. 


I’ve chosen to forgive. 
As someone who has been forgiven so much in my life, I cannot hold back forgiveness for someone else. 
I serve a Jesus who gave up his life so that all could be forgiven for their sins and their shame. 

All. 

It’s a hard truth, but Jesus died for my abusers on the same cross that he died on for me. 

And if I’m being honest, sometimes I hate that truth. 

But I love my Jesus. 
And it’s he who has healed me. 
He who has made me clean and whole and new again. 
He tells me to trust him, to follow him and leave the pain and shame in the past where it belongs. 

My life is in him. 
His grace defines me and he has forgiven me my sin. 
And He calls me to hard things like forgiveness. 
Very hard things like praying for those who have hurt me. 
Praying that they find peace and healing freedom in him as well. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve justice - on the contrary. 
We serve a just God who will call all of us to account for what we’ve done.
But forgiveness releases me from the past. 

And because Jesus did the hardest thing for me, I choose to forgive in order to honor him.  





Thursday, January 26, 2017

#WhyIMarch

Tomorrow will be a first for me. 
I'll be attending the March for Life in Washington, DC. 

In my entire life, I have never attended any political rally, speech, march, demonstration, protest, sit-in, sing-in or love-in. Maybe I'd have gone if it were an 'eat chocolate, drink coffee and talk about it-in', but I'm not sure that's a thing. 

In any event, I've always been the armchair commentator. 
You know, the one to talks back to the tv news or scrunches up their face at the newspaper article? Yeah, that's been me - knowing what I think and believe, but never daring to step out and speak up or be seen, with the exception of what I write and share on social media. 
It's really easy to hide behind a computer screen - we see a lot of that every day, don't we? 
Some may say that because I write about my pro-life views, because I post, tweet and share my support for all life from conception to grave that I'm not hiding. 
But in my heart, I know it's exactly what I've been doing. 

And it stops tomorrow. 

Truthfully, I suppose that when tomorrow is done, I still won't have attended a political function. 
To me, the March For Life represents at it's core, a HEART issue, not a political one. 
It's a march for the hearts of our nation. 

The March For Life is necessary because collectively and individually, our hearts have turned to stone. 
We have become consumed by our selfishness and pride as we say "ME first!" "MY choice!" "MY life!"
We refuse to recognize that the LIFE we are foolishly idolizing is a gift to us. 
We are not guaranteed our next breath, yet we demand to inhale and exhale by standards we've chosen. 
We forget that our lives have a purpose and meaning beyond our own selfish desires. 
And in doing so, we ignore the truth that our calling is to love.
To Love God and love people.
And because we ignore our calling, the only life we value is our own.

In our society, many would consider my views to be radical. 
And I will agree in part because of this fact: 
18 years ago, my heart was radically changed by Jesus Christ. 
Jesus, the life-giver, turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh and gave me back my life from the pit I had drug it into. 
A life that I now willingly choose to live for him. 

Doesn't it strike you as odd that living life as a Christ-follower is considered RADICAL? 
Having a belief that all LIFE is sacred is RADICAL?
I confess, I can't fully comprehend that thinking. 
Not anymore anyway. 

Many of you have read my story, you know about the abortion choices I made a lifetime ago, and I pray every day that you now see Christ in me instead of the broken and lost soul I was before. 
I'm here to tell you that if Jesus chose to love ME, chose to die for ME, chose to rescue ME - with my past and my foolish, selfish choices and my shame, then he surely wants to do the same for you. 
To change your heart and allow it to beat again. 

In October of 2016, I was given the privilege of sharing my story with my church family. 
I've attached the recording for you here:

http://impactchurchnova.com/?sermons=threads-the-gospel-and-abortion

Listen to it and see the reality of how God can work miracles in even the hardest and most broken hearts. 
Share it with someone who may need to hear it. I have no secrets anymore - there is great freedom in that. We all know someone who needs to be free today. Let what God did in my life speak truth into theirs - and yours. 

Abortion is wrong. It is a great evil lie that we as a society have chosen to believe is a right. 
It's the defining tragedy of our time. 
But the greatest tragedy of all are the hearts who choose to refuse the truth of the God who created them. Who refuse to embrace the love and forgiveness he so freely offers. Who choose their heart of stone instead of the heart that beats full from the life-giver, Jesus.

This is #WhyIMarch tomorrow - praying that you will exchange your hearts of stone for ones that beat for LIFE. 


If you are in the Washington, DC area tomorrow and would like to join the March For Life, here is a link to their website for all the official information. 

It was just announced this morning that our new Vice-President, Mike Pence, will be addressing the marchers - the first time ever for our nation. 
Come out and join me, join us. If you cannot, then pray. Pray that God will heal our hearts and that he will heal our land. 




Monday, January 23, 2017

Be Right, or Be Kind?


“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” - Ephesians 4:29

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” - Ephesians 4:32-33

These verses from the Bible are challenging me lately. 
And whether you are a Christ-follower or not, I need you to understand why. 

I’ve sat back over these past months, weeks and days and read the online postings of friends tearing down friends. Pointed quotes and snarky memes, directed at friends, designed to wound, posted in the name of ‘being heard’.
Blocking, unfriending, banning. Friends.

I’ve seen strangers lashing out at other strangers. Over a perceived belief or a poorly worded phrase. Because the screen affords anonymity. Sometimes. But sometimes it goes viral - spreading harsh vitriol that uplifts no one.

I’ve seen media outlets of all descriptions and all sides fostering distrust and suspicion regarding anyone who doesn't agree with their viewpoint. 
I’ve read words shared in anger, hurt, pride, defense, outrage, fear, gloating, pain, self-righteousness and condescension….

And before you say - “Well, it’s a social media problem. You should avoid social media if you don’t want to be affected by it.” 
Just stop. Slam the brakes on that thought. 
It’s not a social media problem. 

It’s a heart problem. 
Our hearts are the source of the conflict. 
Social media, heck - any media - is simply a Roman coliseum experience on steroids where the war is played out for everyone to see. 
Because everyone loves a trainwreck, right? Even as we claim to be shocked by it, we all love to witness the horrific spectacle, moving in for the kill, the fight to the death…..of what? 
Kindness? Civility? Empathy? 
Friendship?
Love?

At what expense?
And for what purpose? 
So we can be right?

Being right will be a cold comfort on the day you realize you are standing completely alone on the mountain you built of your pride and arrogance.

What I have to say here is for everyone - Christian, non-Christian, everyone. 
Christians haven’t cornered the market on kindness, grace and love - these are principles that all of humankind need to live by. 
But because I am a Christ-follower, a Christian, I write, think and feel from that perspective. I use scripture as my guide and I depend on prayer to God to focus and ground me. I daresay if I were Atheist, you would expect that I’d write, think and feel from that perspective, would you not? 
Of course you would. 
And just as many of you would find points of disagreement with the Christian me as you would an Atheist me. 
And there would likely be many points of agreement as well. 
Our problem lies in choosing to focus on the conflicts - because we have the ability to do so. 
But does that make it the right thing to do? 

Sure, we have the ability to be hateful with our words and actions, the ability to slander and bully and berate those who disagree with us. 
But does that make us better people?
It may make us feel better in the moment, but what about when that victory you feel dissipates? When the triumphant brow-beating you delivered fades away? 
Isn’t that a hollow victory when the greater purpose served was in tearing down a friend? In putting a stranger in their place? In teaching them a ‘lesson’?
And what is that lesson exactly? 
How to hate? How to divide? How to destroy?
We humans don’t need that lesson taught to us - sadly, it’s innate.

Kindness, grace and humility are the hard lessons to learn. 
Because they require putting the interests of others before our own. Putting the feelings of others before our own. They require caring about the collateral effect of our words on others.
Kindness, grace and humility do not require that I agree with all the beliefs and life choices of others - agreement shouldn’t be a relationship definer. But when you can enjoy community and relationships defined by an unselfish attitude you can exist in peace even when your beliefs are as wide as the Grand Canyon.

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” - Philippians 2:3-4

Yes, that’s from the Bible too, as I said earlier, scripture directs me. But for those of you who may not read or believe the Bible - how can you say that it’s bad advice? 
Choosing to live your life as described here doesn’t make you a Christ-follower, but it sure can go a long way towards making you a better person. 

If each of us going forward makes the choice to think before we speak; to stop before we hit ‘send’; to think about how we would want to be spoken to and treated, we can help reverse the hateful path we’ve started down. 

Remember I said at the beginning of this post that the verses from Ephesians were challenging me lately? 
That’s because everything I’ve talked about here has been a struggle for me too. I’m not pointing any fingers without including myself in the mix. 
Just because I follow Christ and try earnestly to live a life that imitates him, doesn’t mean I don’t wrestle with the desire to ‘be heard’. To bite back when I feel attacked. To write snarky, pointed and yes, mean comments and posts. 
And I thank God that most of the time he prevents me from causing pain to others by acting on what I want and feel. 

If you aren’t a Christ-follower, I cannot and should not hold you to a Christ-like standard, and I won’t. But I do hold you to a standard of common decency and respect for your fellow man. I believe it’s what you would expect to receive for yourself and you would not be wrong.

Christian friends, hear me on this - Jesus clearly tells us that we are to Love God and love people. 
In that order. 
If you claim to love God yet you are being unloving or unkind or ungraceful or proud or arrogant or boastful or rude - you are not living out your calling. 
Period. 
So stop it. 
Remember who you are and WHOSE you are. 

We are maligned and mistrusted because we don’t live consistently with what we say is the
truth of who Jesus is. 
And we are called to speak that truth in love
To tell others about the truth of Christ’s birth, life, death, burial and resurrection and that he did it for ALL of us. Everyone.
Just because people don’t agree with or understand our convictions doesn't mean that our calling is any less - the very people who hate us are the ones who need the love of Christ so desperately. 
Our timidity has made us vulnerable and weak - if the world around us is unafraid to be bold about what they believe, why are we afraid to be bold about the love of Christ? 

Kindness, grace, humility. 
Living by those attributes will allow you the space to be bold because it will provide a foundation of trust. The world esteems those who stand firmly within their convictions - even if they don’t share them. 
The loudest and harshest voices in the room hold the attention for a while, but its the soft, beckoning voice of grace that draws the hurting and wounded heart. The hearts that only Jesus can heal. 

“Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News. Don’t be intimidated in any way…..” 
- Philippians 1:27-28a